New Energy Standards: Time to Get Your “Peoples Car”

Well since our Nannies in Congress saw fit to implement the next stage of benevolent socialism, because we are too stupid to think for ourselves, and mandated that automobiles in the United States get 35 miles per gallon, I figured I would offer you some recommendations to get a jump on your fellow comrades. After all, when the next round of taxes take affect to provide for universal health care, we won’t have the money that Al Gore, Charlie Wilson, Nancy Pelosi, and Sherrod Brown do to buy a Toyota Prius.

My first recommendation is the renowned “peoples” car, which is near and dear to every liberal socialists heart around the world, and made famous by everyone’s favorite socialist Adolph Hitler, the Volkswagen. Hey, if it's good enough for Hitler and Colonel Klink it's good enough for you. Heil Hitler!









My second recommendation is the Soviet Zaporozhet. Think about it, you could be the first comrade in your neighborhood to pay tribute to Comrade Stalin. And remember if gas prices get too high, Zaporozhets run on vodka.











My third recommendation was made famous when thousands of East Germans streamed across the Czech border during the summer of 1989, the East German Trabant. The best thing about the Trabant is that when the engine fails replacement’s a snap. Just take your five horse Briggs Stratton engine off of your lawn mower, put in your Trabant, and away you go comrade.









My last recommendation was made famous by the benevolent socialist hero of World War II Comrade Tito and the OPEC oil embargo, the Yugo. The best thing about the Yugo is that it’s easy to push. Hey these Yugos don’t always run, so when it fails, a government mandated family of four can easily push it. Just think about all the savings you’ll get when you don’t have to spend it on gas with a Yugo.










Well I hope this helps you plan your next automobile purchase and just remember, the State cares about you comrade. And don’t forget to change out that incandescent light bulb for the new government sanctioned florescent bulb.

Now there you go comrade, you’re making the world green.